As I sit here, eating the last bite of oatmeal from my daily bowl and approximately 6 am, I'm mentally preparing myself for the day ahead. What am I going to wear? What am I going to say to my teacher who gave me a bad grade when I go into talk to her? (scariest thing on the list of questions) How am I going to say yes to the guy that asked me to homecoming? How am I going to try to get to know my "friends" better? How am I going to come out of my comfort zone today? How am I not going to be awkward, like yesterday? I want to wear that top...but what shoes would look best with it? When am I going to end this list of questions?

The questions swirling in my brain are endless, really. 

*sigh* the life of a high-school sophomore girl... 

At least I think this is what everyone else goes through? 

I'm going to be honest. Lately, I have been dealing with self-esteem issues and friendship issues. No, I haven't been bullied or gotten in any fights with my friends or anything like that. This is all me. I'm kind of shy, which most people that I know don't believe when I tell them that. Making new friends for me has been so hard, and I've kind of hit a rock wall. I've known these people for about 1 year now, and I was friends with them last year, but it was way easier to talk to them because I had my friend, Sarah, going to school with me and she's a social butterfly! Sarah moved away, so now I basically have to start all over again. 

At break, it's awkward. All I do is follow 3-4 of them around. They have all been best friends since about 3rd grade, so they are already tight-knit and don't really need me coming in and adding another to their group. I've heard the tactic of asking people about themselves. But it'd be weird if I just randomly said "so, what school did you go to before?" if I've known them for a year...right? I mean, I don't know what to ask them about themselves that I don't already know! 

Gah. I'm open for suggestions. 

Anyways, cross country has kicked off and is going great so far. I'm proud to announce that I've been on varsity and kept my spot, #5, (varsity is the top seven girls and top seven guys) for a running three weeks. (3 races) The next race is coming up tomorrow (wednesday). Coach isn't counting the times for this race because it's a little bit different from any of the other races...

The race is called the Steven Thompson Centipede.

*Flash-forward* I wrote the above a week ago so now I'm going to share the results of the Centipede!

First of all, the centipede is a weird race. It's more of a team building experience if anything. What happens is my team was split into groups by class. Seniors, Juniors, Sophomores, and Freshman. We each could split up into teams with a minimum of 4 or a maximum of 7. Since there were 8 of us but only 7 people racing, we had to have a team of 7. This is cool because our race times are with in about a 4 minute range from one another. This race requires patiences for the faster people, and encouragement for everyone. The other classes on my team had either one or two teams. Each team had people who's times varied greatly, so they were all even. What happens is that each team gets a rope with 7 handles on it. We all have to hold onto a handle while we race. We race the first 2 miles as a "centipede" and then finish the last mile by ourselves.

I'm really proud of our team. We finished third as a group, but then after we dropped our room at the "drop zone" we quickly passed the next team in front of us, putting most of us in front of all (except for one) of their runners. BK had 19 girls finish in the top 30. (or maybe it was 31, I can't remember).

All I know is that we sure did piss off the other coaches...

This week is the Bob Firman. It's probably my favorite race, though it seems like it's the hardest. I've raced this course three times already. Once for Bob Firman last year, once for districts, and another for NXR. So, I do know the course, which makes me feel comfortable. I'm so excited! I'll keep updated.